Friday, August 8, 2014

Abuse Chat

Coach: Thanks for chatting with us ... what is going on that we might help you with?
9:48 PM
Christina Barrett: Well it's more self-abuse. I keep getting mad and hitting things and squirming in anger.
9:48 PM
Christina Barrett: Luckily, my parents aren't in here.
9:48 PM
Christina Barrett: Can you help me outta this??
9:49 PM
Coach: I will try whats going on
9:49 PM
Christina Barrett: People keep being mean to me.
9:49 PM
Coach: ok, sorry to hear that. What do you mena
9:49 PM
Coach: mean
9:49 PM
Christina Barrett: I kept getting upset and can't remember why.
9:49 PM
Christina Barrett: Ellen DeGeneres spent like 2 years abusing me.
9:49 PM
Christina Barrett: She sends messages via people experimenting on me.
9:50 PM
Coach: ellen what do you mean
9:50 PM
Christina Barrett: My mom threw away my passwords and all my things I saved in a spare room.
9:50 PM
Coach: Do you know ellen?
9:50 PM
Christina Barrett: Um.. I dunno, people are experimenting on me. Guess she couldn't say no.
9:50 PM
Coach: are rituals being done on you
9:50 PM
Christina Barrett: No.
9:50 PM
Christina Barrett: Yes, noises in my room, clicks and the way things load on my computer.
9:50 PM
Coach: what kind of experiments
9:50 PM
Christina Barrett: Like, watching me all the time.
9:51 PM
Christina Barrett: I liked it at 1st but said no.
9:51 PM
Christina Barrett: They just did more and got mad at me when I flunked college, I guess.
9:51 PM
Coach: have you actually talked to ellen
9:51 PM
Christina Barrett: No.
9:51 PM
Coach: what do you mean
9:51 PM
Christina Barrett: She tells people to bother me.
9:51 PM
Coach: you said she spent 2 years abusing you
9:51 PM
Christina Barrett: She thinks I'm too old to be her kid. She doesn't act like it, but I mean what else could it be?
9:52 PM
Christina Barrett: Other than being mean.
9:52 PM
Christina Barrett: Yea..
9:52 PM
Christina Barrett: 2012
9:52 PM
Coach: how do you know her. She abused you how do you know her
9:52 PM
Christina Barrett: People act mean to me and act like Ellen told them to do it. Same with the communicating to me with clicks in my room.
9:52 PM
Christina Barrett: I just feel really bad, too, and I hit stuff so much tonight.
9:53 PM
Christina Barrett: They are gonna be more mad at me probably.
9:53 PM
Christina Barrett: But that's what happens sometimes.
9:53 PM
Coach: are you being hurt
9:53 PM
Christina Barrett: No, but I feel I've hurt myself.
9:53 PM
Christina Barrett: Hitting things and getting in trouble.
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: No one saw this.
9:54 PM
Coach: I see
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: My dad bothered me in the car, acted like I had to be sexually aroused.
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: People are changing my face by they way they act..
9:54 PM
Coach: are you being sexually abused
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: Like as some gross message.
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: I already contacted them, and they said no.
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: I told my Gramma she was bothering me, and that happened.
9:54 PM
Christina Barrett: Her and my dad.
9:55 PM
Christina Barrett: I think I hurt him how I walk, and I'm sad.
9:55 PM
Christina Barrett: This is too much, Ellen butting in.
9:55 PM
Coach: what do you mean ellen butting in
9:55 PM
Christina Barrett: Saying I can't talk about her as I wish when she was nasty.
9:55 PM
Christina Barrett: She sends those messages I told you about..
9:56 PM
Christina Barrett: Like I can tell when people or the noise means I'm shit or things and when "suggestions" come up I don't like.
9:56 PM
Christina Barrett: Ow, my head hurts, like I blew on it too hard.
9:56 PM
Coach: are you ok. Do you have any spiritual beliefs
9:57 PM
Christina Barrett: Yes, and I did.
9:57 PM
Coach: what are your spiritual beliefs
9:58 PM
Christina Barrett: Catholic..
9:58 PM
Coach: I see. You sound like your tormented
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: Yea.
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: People keep looking at the past!
9:59 PM
Coach: who is torturing your mind.
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: I am not a bad person.
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: My dad.
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: He seems to be getting frustrated.
9:59 PM
Coach: your dad sexually abusing you
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: I mean he doesn't want me cooped up. But everyone wants to know about my family and shits at me.
9:59 PM
Christina Barrett: No, I just contacted them and they sent me away.
10:00 PM
Coach: what do you mean you contacted them and they sent you away. How old are you
10:00 PM
Christina Barrett: 28
10:01 PM
Christina Barrett: They said that my issues weren't sexual abuse, but my therapist asked about that, too.
10:01 PM
Coach: you brought up your dad trying to arouse you, what do you mean by that
10:02 PM
Christina Barrett: He does that, just acts mean and isn't afraid to do that and gets mad at me.
10:02 PM
Christina Barrett: Like I can't ask him about what he's doing.
10:02 PM
Christina Barrett: He also doesn't act like I'm an adult, anymore.
10:02 PM
Christina Barrett: Like I can't be independent.
10:02 PM
Coach: why does he treat you that way.
10:03 PM
Christina Barrett: Maybe cuz I flunked college too many times being bothered by others.
10:05 PM
Coach: have you prayed and asked God to help you
10:05 PM
Christina Barrett: ...
10:06 PM
Christina Barrett: Yes.
10:07 PM
Coach: Torment comes from the devil, have you tried rebuking the devil off your mind in Jesus name
10:07 PM
Christina Barrett: Yesa.
10:08 PM
Coach: What do you need to help you
10:13 PM
Christina Barrett: Um..
10:13 PM
Christina Barrett: My mom came in and it bothered me and I now have 3 cuts.
10:19 PM
Coach: what do you mean 3 cutsw
10:20 PM
Christina Barrett: I hit my keypad by accident.. the TV made me mad, too.
10:22 PM
Coach: ok
10:23 PM
Coach: would you like a counselor to talk to
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: ok..
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: i have a therapist.. but if you mean on here another person ok..
10:26 PM
Coach: You can speak with a professional counselor at Focus on the Family by calling 855.771.4357
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: ok.. i prefer online
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: thanks tho
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: :]
10:26 PM
Coach: just in case you ever need to call
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: ok thanks..
10:26 PM
Christina Barrett: someone gave it to me earlier..
10:29 PM
Coach: I see. ok would you like me to pray with before you go
10:33 PM
System Message: Your chat has been disconnected.
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What's wrong

with hitting things in my room?  I only used the table a few times.  I was told to punch a punching bag, but I use the sofa and my bed..
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I was bringing fun.

My dad made the day shit.
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Looks like

You got nothing to say then.
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I also have some problem.

My dad drove today and my left eye felt different when he drove, not just a little, the entire lining.  I don't find it funny and I feel like I can't think even if I want to.  *Beep* him.
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Problem

She likes this girl who is born in 1997.  She is being real tacky about it.  This is the end of Ellen.  I don't think so.  She laughs at this and hurts me more.  Like who you want.
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I can already see her laugh

on the inside as things turn.
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If you talk to me..

..you learn when I said no.


or we can't talk.  What's this, my talk turning into a stupid conversation?
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Analyzing

Analyzing Ellen

Well, here's what's happening that everyone wants to know..

She jazzes up thinking that people too old to be her kids would ever do anything for her.  Why?  She is under the impression only she gets to feel better than people born around 1953.  See?  This is important.  I'm finding things out.

What else?

People think they "discovered" my family, who all seem to have some big thing going.  I simply am good at being normal.  They think instead of me being famous they have ratted out my worst nightmare, all the people in my life, thinking I did bad things when they have no business doing anything related with me there.  Shoulda gotten famous before for yourself.  If you were wondering, your elders know how embarrassing it is to be famous.  I know how people like Ellen just want the good stuff, like Gramma saying Ellen is God and everyone else is shit.

I don't mean to attack Ellen, but I fear she's already attacked me.
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Chat Line

Coach: Thanks for chatting with us ... what is going on that we might help you with?
8:40 PM
Christina Barrett: I keep getting upset with my dad.
8:41 PM
Christina Barrett: ...
8:41 PM
Christina Barrett: He felt a little dizzy last time we saw a movie.
8:41 PM
Christina Barrett: I thought of attacking Ellen DeGeneres like a cartoon but not like really hurting her. I was wondering if that triggered it.
8:41 PM
Christina Barrett: Anyway, this week, I got upset, just today.
8:42 PM
Christina Barrett: He knew somehow, and he tried to make me dizzy, and it's something inappropriate. I'm still worried. I was upset and told him he was driving funny home from the movie.
8:42 PM
Christina Barrett: Also, his elderly mom and sister see us tomorrow.
8:42 PM
Christina Barrett: They don't come often. My aunt just came recently, when this happened before, as well.. I get upset in my room so no one can know unless they talk to me via my blog.
8:43 PM
Christina Barrett: I just worry they will send me away when I've already tried to leave.
8:43 PM
Christina Barrett: Like lie to a police that I started it.
8:43 PM
Christina Barrett: It probably won't happen with my dad home..
8:43 PM
Christina Barrett: It's happened 3 times via my mom's doing.
8:43 PM
Christina Barrett: That's gay she don't give a shit, excuse my language.
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: :|
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: They keep holding me accountable for my past.
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: And I didn't hurt anyone. They upset me.
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: My aunt must be gay.
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: I wasn't even in the room with anyone..
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: Sometimes, no one was home.
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: They don't talk to me about my problems.
8:44 PM
Christina Barrett: I've said tell me on my blog.
8:45 PM
Christina Barrett: I was upset at my dad before, but when he attempted to stimulate me, I didn't know why.
8:45 PM
Christina Barrett: Like driving to stimulate me!
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: Cuza Ellen DeGeneres, ..
8:46 PM
Coach: Hey Christina sounds like you have a lot going on.
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: Ugh! So mad.
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: I don't need her.
8:46 PM
Coach: how does Ellen DeGeneres play into all of this?
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: Yes, they won't leave me alone. Ellen keeps sending nasty messages via people experimenting on me.
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: I don't know, but that happens.
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: I don't know why I mean.,
8:46 PM
Christina Barrett: That's why I was so mad.
8:47 PM
Christina Barrett: My parents were away.
8:47 PM
Christina Barrett: \See, I just got another message.
8:47 PM
Christina Barrett: Someone on IMDb can't find their car ckeys.
8:47 PM
Christina Barrett: she own't kleav eme alkone
8:47 PM
Coach: From Ellen?
8:47 PM
Christina Barrett: "I DUNNO
8:47 PM
Christina Barrett: She acts like I'm too old to be her kid.
8:48 PM
Christina Barrett: She just keeps ruijning my fmaily more.
8:48 PM
Coach: Do you happen to go to counseling for these issues with your parents and the issues with Ellen?
8:48 PM
Christina Barrett: Not woith my parents.
8:48 PM
Coach: Oh okay you go alone?
8:48 PM
Christina Barrett: Yea.
8:48 PM
Coach: How is that going for you?
8:48 PM
Christina Barrett: I dunno, we ignore her now.
8:49 PM
Christina Barrett: brb water
8:49 PM
Coach: Who ignores her?
8:49 PM
Coach: are you talking about your counselor?
8:50 PM
Christina Barrett: yes
8:51 PM
Coach: Why do you ignore her?
8:51 PM
Christina Barrett: Because she is being mean, I know she popped up that message to dig into me.
8:51 PM
Christina Barrett: Most people would tell you, "She's nothing."
8:52 PM
Coach: I see
8:52 PM
Christina Barrett: She wasted my life.
8:52 PM
Christina Barrett: Like Tim Burton/.
8:52 PM
Christina Barrett: May they never see the light of day of another kid again! Thinking I am too old to have cool parents, rather have none again.
8:53 PM
Christina Barrett: Also, my mom has cancer.
8:53 PM
Coach: I am sorry to hear that Christina
8:53 PM
Christina Barrett: I just went to get some ice and I think I gave her a nasty look.
8:53 PM
Coach: How are you dealing with that?
8:54 PM
Christina Barrett: I dunno.
8:54 PM
Christina Barrett: They won't stop bothering me.
8:54 PM
Coach: who won't stop bothering you?
8:54 PM
Christina Barrett: Well, she's a bit more weak now.
8:54 PM
Coach: Your mom?
8:54 PM
Christina Barrett: I just heard a faint alarm, someone might have put that noise in my room.
8:54 PM
Christina Barrett: YEs.
8:55 PM
Coach: I understand I know all of these things must be pretty tough for you?
8:56 PM
Christina Barrett: I don't want to talk to these people.
8:56 PM
Coach: Can you shut them out?
8:56 PM
Christina Barrett: I dunno..
8:56 PM
Christina Barrett: My Gramma may die soon, anywa.
8:57 PM
Christina Barrett: She's a real problem.
8:57 PM
Christina Barrett: I don't like it.
8:57 PM
Christina Barrett: We had a good relationship before Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.
8:57 PM
Coach: I see
8:57 PM
Christina Barrett: Like anyone, I've cared about her.
8:57 PM
Coach: Can I pray with you about all of this Christina?
8:57 PM
Christina Barrett: OK
8:59 PM
Coach: Awesome! Lord I pray for Christina as she is dealing with so much Lord and you know how to regulate it. You know how to bring peace of mind. I am asking that you would do this now for Christina. Even the pain of knowing that her mom has cancer that you would give her your comfort in this, in Jesus name, Amen!
8:59 PM
Christina Barrett: Amen
9:00 PM
Coach: :) also Christina I have a resource that may be helpful You can speak with a professional counselor at Focus on the Family by calling 855.771.4357
9:00 PM
Christina Barrett: Thanks, if I use a phone I'll consider it.
9:01 PM
Coach: I understand, have a wonderful weekend Christina and you are in my prayers :)
9:01 PM
Christina Barrett: Thanks. Bye! :)
9:01 PM
Coach: Your welcome bye :)
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