Like OMG do you know?

Josh Groban is trying to act like he knows the South and people from Florida don't.

If 1 thing happens for 1 reason but not for something else, it's not related.

Is there nothing to do on this earth?

Why make a girl feel something she hates?

PMing

Medicines all have side-effects, including death.

PMing

She didn't earn it. She might have been kept from it, but others are suffering.

Problem

Why do these select people mistreat me?  I am to be respected, but ya'll get mad when something about my race comes up.  This didn't happen in grade school..

I was told I passed the test.

Because I admitted I had a problem-

Note

To my aunt on Facebook posting to her sister's daughter.

Why did you post this to her wall? You know, you're not more my mom because of your age being closer to my dad. You were putting your face in mine like you were even kissing me when you visit me all mad and honestly rather tacky. You're just another person. I don't feel love for your age being close to my dad.. You're too late to do that. I'm 28.

***

I just took a test.  It's about addiction.

Below are the results from your test.


We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers have met a score based on six criteria that indicate sex addiction is present.
In addition there are certain subscales to further confirm that a problem exists. The following patterns emerged in your answers:
•A profile consistent with women who struggle with *** compulsive behavior
•A profile consistent with homosexual men who struggle with *** compulsive behavior


The SAST measures key characteristics of addiction. The following dimensions of an addictive disorder appeared in your answers:
•Preoccupation: obsessive thinking about *** behavior, opportunities, and fantasies
•Loss of control: inability to stop behavior despite commitments to self and others and despite problems caused by behavior
•Relationship disturbance: *** behavior has created significant relationship problems
•Affect disturbance: significant depression, despair, or anxiety over *** behavior


It's clear as crystal to me.  I chose those answers.

"I have been paid for ***."

Check.

Yes!

Get the cookie!

Let's all just calm down.

"I have stayed in romantic relationships after they became emotionally or physically abusive.

I must confess

I was a crazed demon, but I'm calming down more now.  Good thing I have meds?

The Hope Line (cont.)

Coach: Regardless of what major you pursue, I want you to know that pursuing God is the most important thing you can do. Seek Him and all those majors and questions about auditions, will fall into place.

4:58 PM

Coach: His plan for you is better than any plan you could make for yourself. Follow after Him and get freedom and healing from past hurts. Ask Him to help heal you and cleanse you and surround you with peace.

4:59 PM

Christina Barrett: OK thanks :)

4:59 PM

Coach: Also, I would love to pray with you? Before we end, would you like me to?

4:59 PM

Christina Barrett: OK

4:59 PM

Coach: Awesome! I'll pray below:

5:00 PM

Coach: Father, thank you that you are peace. You are the one that calms the storms around us. You are the one that heals the hurt. Jesus, thank you that Christina came here to talk today....

5:00 PM

Coach: I pray that you would guide her towards your truth, towards the idenity that you have for her in you...

5:01 PM

Coach: You think thoughts of love towards your daughter. You give joy and healing. You know Christina has been hurt by the things she thinks other people have said...

5:01 PM

Coach: Jesus, I pray that you would silence the voice of accusation and unloving in Christina's mind. I bind those voices and thoughts that are not of you, and I command them to go. Jesus, fill those places now with your peace....

5:02 PM

Coach: Let you truth and your Spirit just wash over Christina. Let her feel your love right now surrounding her....

5:02 PM

Coach: Jesus, help Christina to forgive those in her life that have hurt her. Remove all bitterness and hurt from her soul and mind....

5:03 PM

Coach: You know that she is studying music God and that she wants to get auditions but doesnt believe that she can do it. Lord, I pray that you would give Christina such a hunger for you that she would seek you first before all that...

5:04 PM

Coach: Jesus, give her wisdom and a perspective from your point of view concerning her life. Speak truth to her. We command the confusion to be gone in the name of Jesus....

5:04 PM

Coach: Surround Christina with peace Jesus, complete peace and let her know that you love her and want to make her new: new mind, new heart, new idenity....

5:05 PM

Coach: Father as she reads, I pray that you would speak to her through your Word. Loud and clear, let your truth just hit her heart and heal those places of hurt....

5:06 PM

Coach: Jesus, protect Christina from things that are not of you. Remove those things that are not of you from her and from her environment. Bless her today with peace. Help her also as she goes to these other websites. Let her be encouraged there...

5:06 PM

Coach: In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

5:06 PM

Christina Barrett: Amen.

5:07 PM

Christina Barrett: Thank you so much! You are such a highly intelligent being!

5:07 PM

Coach: Im glad you came in to talk today and that we got to pray together!

5:07 PM

Christina Barrett: :) Keep it that way and get better.

5:07 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes!

5:07 PM

Coach: Thank you Christina! that is so kind. Check out those websites okay?

5:07 PM

Christina Barrett: OK :)

5:07 PM

Christina Barrett: Bye!

5:07 PM

Coach: byee! :)

Hope Line

Do not interceed if you've failed to reead!

3:53 PM

Coach: Thanks for chatting with us ... what is going on that we might help you with?

3:53 PM

Christina Barrett: Hi..

3:54 PM

Coach: Hello! whats going on today that you would like to chat about?

3:54 PM

Christina Barrett: My mom is sick with cancer and weak reclining. I just got so upset at my brother acting funny at me.

3:54 PM

Christina Barrett: I come online, and people're posting *beep* at me.

3:54 PM

Christina Barrett: In secret.

3:54 PM

Christina Barrett: Like I know it's for me. They might not even know me much.

3:55 PM

Christina Barrett: I was worried I bothered my mom. For the 1st time she tried stimulating me by how she types.

3:55 PM

Christina Barrett: That got me really upset, almost to the point I didn't care about her anymore.

3:55 PM

Christina Barrett: I posted it online and can feel people laughing at me.

3:56 PM

Christina Barrett: It gets me so worked up, so like whiney-feeling.

3:56 PM

Christina Barrett: It leaves, though, and I feel nothing in the end but like I'm wounded somehow.

3:56 PM

Christina Barrett: I keep having "episodes." I was recently I think bullied by Josh Groban online/.

3:57 PM

Christina Barrett: And I follow Ellen DeGeneres and she seems so nasty.

3:57 PM

Christina Barrett: She has such an attitude.

3:57 PM

Christina Barrett: I was screaming and almost fell or did 3 times.

3:57 PM

Christina Barrett: I used my sofa as a punching bag.

3:58 PM

Coach: Im glad you came to chat. What exactly happened?

3:58 PM

Christina Barrett: People don't like me hitting the table..

3:58 PM

Christina Barrett: Um..

3:58 PM

Coach: Your mom has cancer and you stimulated her? Can you explain that?

3:58 PM

Christina Barrett: I was making cookies, I thought my brother liked, he came in, and he acted like with an attitude. I was upset, and he was like thinking ooh Christina tried to hurt me with a sound. That's what blew me up.

3:59 PM

Christina Barrett: Um, no my mom stimulated me, my dad might not like that. Like, she was typing and it just stimulated me.

3:59 PM

Christina Barrett: I recently watched a show where a girl was sexually abused by her writer of a dad.

3:59 PM

Christina Barrett: I dunno, like noises sometimes do that.

3:59 PM

Christina Barrett: I tried to help myself and didn't really know what all was going on.

4:00 PM

Christina Barrett: It wasn't like I felt stimulated all over.

4:00 PM

Christina Barrett: I don't know what part.

4:00 PM

Christina Barrett: It was partly an idea.

4:01 PM

Christina Barrett: People keep making fun of me in my life.

4:01 PM

Coach: When you say stimulated are you talking about getting angry or upset?

4:01 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, like a masturbating feeling or thoguht.

4:01 PM

Christina Barrett: When you feel all whiney.

4:01 PM

Christina Barrett: Upset.

4:01 PM

Christina Barrett: Riled up.

4:01 PM

Christina Barrett: It's good I'm able to stop it.

4:02 PM

Christina Barrett: My mom is Chinese-Indonesian.

4:02 PM

Christina Barrett: My dad is white and Native American and Jewish.

4:02 PM

Christina Barrett: :(

4:02 PM

Coach: Okay, got it. Can you explain what you mean with your brother as well? You said you were thinking that he was thinking that you were trying to upset him with a sound?

4:02 PM

Christina Barrett: Do you think she is hurt?

4:02 PM

Coach: what is wrong with your parents nationalities?

4:03 PM

Christina Barrett: Nothing I guess, but my friends acted suggestive around me and I think that's why.

4:03 PM

Christina Barrett: My brother just walked in, and he had an attitude against me, would not admit it.

4:04 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, I made a sound that sounded like I wanted to hurt him. Like, the sound may have hurt him. It just came to me. I didn't set up to be that way. It was just in passing, but he sparked up like he caught me, but he started it and does it a lot.

4:04 PM

Coach: Christina, you need to let things roll off your back. People have hurt you, yes. But you need to forgive them or that anger will just become bitterness deep inside and you dont want that. itll steal your joy and peace.

4:04 PM

Christina Barrett: They acted like it was me who did something for my nationalities, like I was a sin.

4:05 PM

Coach: Do you understand that, about forgiving others?

4:05 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, now I worry about the reaction. My dad will have to realize they bothered me.

4:06 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes.. I thought I wouldn't forgive them if they try to get away with it, like Ellen DeGeneres planting the noises around my room to hurt me. If she stopped, it would still not be forgiven. She probably laughs hysterically in her private mind at people like me and keeps hurting us like she's all that, she's older, she gets to be cute cuz she's born in the 1960s almost, the happy time. Maybe, I can forgive my brother, but what do I have with my mom if she thinks I'm just a piece of *beep* that can be controlled by someone like her?

4:08 PM

Coach: Why do you say the Ellen is planting noises around your room to hurt you?

4:08 PM

Coach: *say that

4:09 PM

Christina Barrett: She acted like it.

4:09 PM

Christina Barrett: I was gonna say it was not just her, but she acted like yes I did it all tacky..

4:09 PM

Christina Barrett: Now she likes this other girl who is okay but I'd like to say is disgusting.

4:10 PM

Christina Barrett: Josh Groban knows I said that and now I lost a good chance of respect with him, just 1 thing, and me getting mad at Ellen.

4:10 PM

Christina Barrett: It started she made a disgusting face with her eyes looking gooey online/

4:11 PM

Christina Barrett: Now, I'm disgusted at her selfishness. I don't feel I'm right like other people do cuz Ellen keeps acting like it, but I know what things are really like.

4:11 PM

Coach: Do you actually know these people personally?

4:12 PM

Christina Barrett: No, they think they're better, too, and I was always considered like a prodige and acomplice.

4:13 PM

Coach: Okay, well seeing as how you actually dont know them you cant know their thoughts. The same goes for your family. You may think you know what they are thinking, but you dont unless you ask them and from their own mouths they express their thoughts.

4:14 PM

Coach: Also, you said youre upset with your mom? Do you think you could reconcile with her? After all, she is sick.

4:14 PM

Christina Barrett: Yea, I just did.

4:14 PM

Christina Barrett: Yea, I just know when people don't react like I'm that good.

4:15 PM

Christina Barrett: I'm probably so wary in the world I feel almost suicidal, I contacted them yesterday here.. I am not really, but there is such evil out there, prisoners and then there's the victims who are dead. I just don't like the world with this stuff. It feels unsafe and pointless.

4:15 PM

Coach: Their reactions though could be because theyre having a bad day, not because they dont like you.

4:15 PM

Christina Barrett: What happened was the idea seemed to be transmitted to me.

4:15 PM

Coach: youre reading a lot into things that arent actually fact.

4:15 PM

Christina Barrett: Yea, it's best to keep the relationship professional.

4:16 PM

Coach: i would stop doing that because it seems to be wearing you out.

4:16 PM

Christina Barrett: Really?.. like thinking people are nasty to me.

4:16 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, Ellen makes me feel old.

4:16 PM

Christina Barrett: She thinks everyone has to listen, to her.

4:16 PM

Coach: Are these thinking people actually communicating with words to you their thoughts about you?

4:17 PM

Christina Barrett: Josh Groban stopped being nice to me when I made an allusion to that girl trying to be disgusting on my new iPhone.

4:17 PM

Coach: Or are you just percieving that that is what they are saying about you in their heads?

4:17 PM

Christina Barrett: No, but their actions are pretty clear sometimes, usually just a general sweep of me as *beep*.

4:17 PM

Christina Barrett: I think it happens in their heads and then they make a decision.

4:17 PM

Christina Barrett: Some things even online may be snap decisions.

4:18 PM

Christina Barrett: Like about me saying that girl is disgusting without explaining she did it..

4:18 PM

Christina Barrett: I was on my iPhone.

4:18 PM

Coach: Do you have a counselor? It sounds like youre dealing with some hard thoughts. I think it would be great to talk this out to a counselor.

4:18 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, I see her tomorrow. I see her each week.

4:18 PM

Christina Barrett: It's a therapist..

4:18 PM

Christina Barrett: I don't know why.

4:18 PM

Coach: Okay, thats good.

4:18 PM

Christina Barrett: I like her.

4:19 PM

Christina Barrett: She's so funny.

4:19 PM

Christina Barrett: I think she's a child psychologist and social worker..

4:19 PM

Christina Barrett: We don't get much done.

4:19 PM

Christina Barrett: I was supposed to go to a club house of people who don't work. I was supposed to go a day to give me something else to do.

4:20 PM

Coach: Thats good. Now what would you like me to do? Can you tell me what you were looking to get out of your time at the hopeline today?

4:20 PM

Christina Barrett: I might record the session tomorrow.

4:20 PM

Christina Barrett: I dunno, my main priority is if my mom is hurt, but she hurt me, so maybe not. Otherwise, my tantrums, the way I tick with others around, cuz I programmed myself to be more agressive. I guess I should do some personality research, but I feel I've covered a lot of it.

4:21 PM

Coach: Do you believe in God Christina?

4:21 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes.

4:23 PM

Coach: How would you describe God?

4:23 PM

Christina Barrett: Someone with a sense of humor in a serious way, who sees things at different angles rather than the way we do.

4:24 PM

Christina Barrett: I got the idea from other people as a whole. The idea came to me after I went into my room.

4:24 PM

Christina Barrett: It was interesting to see.

4:24 PM

Christina Barrett: I believed it.

4:25 PM

Christina Barrett: I enjoyed what I could get from a humble and honest god.

4:25 PM

Coach: What does God expect of us Christina?

4:25 PM

Christina Barrett: I learned that I did something, yet again.

4:25 PM

Christina Barrett: To offer those who beg forgiveness?

4:26 PM

Christina Barrett: To forget about unsorry sinners.

4:26 PM

Christina Barrett: To not get back.

4:27 PM

Coach: Okay, well how are you living up to those expectations on a scale of 1-10 do you think?

4:27 PM

Christina Barrett: 6

4:28 PM

Christina Barrett: Forgiveness.. does not mean the degree that we want people to be totally like taken away to jail. We are still stern about their example being wrong, but we do not harm them or think ill of them totally as a person, just confused.

4:29 PM

Coach: I would agree with that. You can forgive and still have boundaries established for past, even forgiven, behavior. So what do you think you need to do to get to 10?

4:31 PM

Christina Barrett: I don't want to submit to people I do not admire the behavior of. I think I need to learn to be even more independent of others so when I do talk to someone I am ready.. people think they need to punish me and don't even think forgiveness is applicable to my situation, of how I ended up doing some things by accident..

4:31 PM

Christina Barrett: So, being more independent.

4:31 PM

Christina Barrett: I feel a bit uncomfortable with myself.

4:31 PM

Christina Barrett: Thinking about them, but I would not be mean. I would have to submit to them.

4:31 PM

Christina Barrett: They won't let down a guard.

4:32 PM

Coach: This response though is connected to what God thinks of us. So are you saying that God believes people should be independent?

4:32 PM

Christina Barrett: I would have to bow and giggle when I talk like Princess Ana from Frozen, all submissive and giggly and acting like she worships others.

4:33 PM

Christina Barrett: Well, people tend to hurt others rather than befriend them. I think I have to realize I'm 1/2 Chinese but that lots are part Native American or even a large portion of it their race.

4:33 PM

Christina Barrett: My family were farmers, so it makes sense on my dad's mom's side.

4:33 PM

Coach: What makes sense?

4:33 PM

Christina Barrett: That I'd have indian with a heavy farm family.

4:33 PM

Christina Barrett: Because I have a whole family of farmers on 1/4 of my race that there would bound to be indian there.

4:34 PM

Coach: Christina, how does this have to do with what God expects of you? thats what we were talking about.

4:34 PM

Christina Barrett: Well, people should be nice to me when they decide to open up, which they simply have. They are looking for European background to talk about.

4:35 PM

Coach: I still dont see how this has to do with what God expects of YOU.

4:35 PM

Christina Barrett: back

4:35 PM

Christina Barrett: My dad just was at the door.

4:36 PM

Christina Barrett: I think God expected people to be nice to me and for me to not have them problemate my life so that I'm good and don't get in trouble for tantrums. It's not like I steal and have sex with anyone.

4:37 PM

Christina Barrett: I'm still unforgiving of my dad, don't want to touch him.

4:37 PM

Coach: Okay, yes I think God wants people to be nice to you and for you to be nice to people. You cant control other people though. You cant make others nice to you. You can control yourself and your reactions though. So that is what you can work on.

4:37 PM

Coach: Why?

4:37 PM

Christina Barrett: Same goes with most.

4:37 PM

Christina Barrett: Um.. I talked to a sex abuse line about him.

4:37 PM

Christina Barrett: He won't stop.

4:38 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, I can work on controlling myself.

4:38 PM

Christina Barrett: I don't spend time hating.

4:38 PM

Christina Barrett: I forgive, but I get hurt again.

4:38 PM

Coach: Your dad sexually abuses you?

4:38 PM

Christina Barrett: No, just acts weird around me, like pauses or talks a certain way. He's understanding more than my mom in some ways.

4:39 PM

Christina Barrett: My mom just keeps firing in her attitude.

4:39 PM

Christina Barrett: They do seem to affect me sexually, but I think it's my fault.

4:39 PM

Coach: Why do you say its your fault?

4:39 PM

Christina Barrett: Because sometimes I masturbated.

4:39 PM

Christina Barrett: Not a lot at once.

4:39 PM

Christina Barrett: Not heavily.

4:40 PM

Christina Barrett: I can't do heavily anyway.

4:40 PM

Christina Barrett: I don't wanna rape anyone.

4:40 PM

Christina Barrett: Never had that feeling.

4:40 PM

Christina Barrett: I mean, I've thought of sex.

4:41 PM

Coach: Can i give you a website that might help you with that?

4:41 PM

Christina Barrett: OK

4:41 PM

Coach: xxxchurch.com

4:41 PM

Christina Barrett: OK thanks.

4:41 PM

Coach: you can click on women and there are articles and helpful things for some of the things youve shared.

4:41 PM

Coach: youre welcome Christina.

4:42 PM

Christina Barrett: :)

4:42 PM

Christina Barrett: I don't know what to do with my life.

4:42 PM

Coach: What do you mean?

4:42 PM

Christina Barrett: I was thinking getting a degree in singing. I have to go to campus and see how many General Studies courses I need.

4:43 PM

Christina Barrett: Either 9 or 7.

4:43 PM

Christina Barrett: 6.

4:43 PM

Christina Barrett: 9 or 6.

4:43 PM

Christina Barrett: I might be able to do that.

4:43 PM

Christina Barrett: Then the 2nd year of the music major.

4:43 PM

Coach: Youre in your 2nd yr of a music major?

4:43 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes.

4:44 PM

Coach: Thats awesome Christina!

4:44 PM

Christina Barrett: I got kicked outta singing and music ed for being shy, but singing is my major.

4:44 PM

Christina Barrett: new major }:]

4:44 PM

Coach: How did they kick you out for being shy'? I dont think they can do that.

4:44 PM

Christina Barrett: I told them, but it happened.

4:45 PM

Christina Barrett: I got kicked outta theater for using the bathroom too much supposedly.. found a cool teacher.

4:45 PM

Christina Barrett: I landed in the mental hospital..

4:46 PM

Coach: how?

4:46 PM

Christina Barrett: My mom took me to my therapist, and I called the police about being kicked out.

4:46 PM

Christina Barrett: The teacher never told me I did anything. She just said I was to see someone, a counselor.

4:48 PM

Coach: Did you ever go to the class? using the bathroom is fine, but going there during class all the time is skipping.

4:48 PM

Christina Barrett: I had to go twice sometimes in 1 class.

4:48 PM

Christina Barrett: I thought teachers didn't care if it's a big lecture class.

4:48 PM

Christina Barrett: It wasn't, though

4:49 PM

Coach: it wasnt a big lecture class?

4:49 PM

Christina Barrett: No.

4:50 PM

Christina Barrett: So, I am trying to act and there's this Christian organization based here in Orlando named AMTC.

4:50 PM

Christina Barrett: You go to a workshop in 1/2 year and get cast in a movie.

4:50 PM

Christina Barrett: I hope I make it.

4:50 PM

Christina Barrett: I never do.

4:51 PM

Coach: Do you ever pray? That would be great to get the audition, but what is even more important is knowing God. Thats the most important pursuit you could ever go after.

4:52 PM

Christina Barrett: Well, I had my place in church from a span of age 7-20 in church choir, and once even was in 4 Catholic ensembles.

4:52 PM

Christina Barrett: I'm 28.

4:53 PM

Coach: Were you ever involved in a youth group or anything?

4:53 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, I was distraught I was too old.

4:53 PM

Christina Barrett: Now.

4:53 PM

Coach: There arent any Bible studies or small groups for adults?

4:54 PM

Christina Barrett: I dunno.. I did it with my gramma on the phone 1 year, maybe should go back to studying the Bible. I read the book of Esther recently.

4:54 PM

Christina Barrett: I was proud to have read a Camelot for kids, too.

4:54 PM

Christina Barrett: In 1 sitting.

4:54 PM

Coach: That is a good book. I would definitely encourage you reading the Bible more and filling your heart with truth.

4:54 PM

Christina Barrett: Yes, I found a Proverb to live by.

4:54 PM

Christina Barrett: Don't know what it was.

4:55 PM

Christina Barrett: It was near the beginning.

4:55 PM

Coach: youversion.com and gotandem.com are great sites with bible reading plans for everyday.

4:55 PM

Christina Barrett: Cool! :)

4:55 PM

Coach: i would check those out.

4:55 PM

Christina Barrett: I remember when I used to pray the rosary.

4:55 PM

Christina Barrett: OK.

4:55 PM

Coach: yeah, they are pretty awesome sites.

4:56 PM

Christina Barrett: I was gonna go to NYFA, but then I started thinking about singing. Their degree is 3 years.

4:56 PM

Christina Barrett: I might not even make it.

4:56 PM

Christina Barrett: I know I can make it here, no audition required.

4:56 PM

Coach: So at the Hopeline Christina, we love to point people towards resources that can further help. I want you to check outxxxchurch.com and one of the Bible study ones, okay? Then you can chat back in. We're here to talk but its important to us that youre going to those resources first next time, okay?

4:57 PM

Christina Barrett: I plan to do the General Studies in 2 semesters and graduate.

4:57 PM

Christina Barrett: OK