All I Can Say

Is I aim.

In the living room, I just told my dad he was upsetting me .. I just didn't want anything to happen.

I stomped my foot as I left, so what?  That's why he did what he did.. joked around about me.

I went crazy later in my room.  I had to be given a way to think it off.

Not Glad

I even TOLD dad
That I was mad
Nothing to help me he had

Don't put me away
I'm here awhile to stay
What happened to my day
I don't understand the good of learning this way

I'm not altogether ashamed
Feel like what I did was okay claimed
I'll try not to get mad and feel framed

I think this could work
It was just a quirk

It's hard to let go
My heart is like snow

My ear

It feels a little inflamed inside, like pressure.

I know what it is.

That guy is mad at me.

I think I damaged my brain but didn't actually hit it.

I don't want anything about the girl over me with others.

You know what.

My therapist did not fix my problems, but my psychiatrist is slightly sane.

What did I do wrong?

I was uncomfortable talking about Bella.. and bringing up her mom.  I said that most people seemed to be thinking that but guess maybe it hit too hard when I mentioned her mom.  I didn't think it would before, didn't think of anything like that.  So, you think I meant it in that way, but I didn't, so I dunno.  She just seems a bit overly ecstatic for her youngest daughter, partially cuz she dyes her hair, probably regrets not tendering it to be lighter as she grew up.  My parents made mine black.  I don't like that, that's their fun, not mine.  My kids, I don't know that I'd want their hair to be white cuz it seems like a false promise of good to come.  I used to, though.  And I'm not like oh the youngest should have white hair or something.  Ugh!  Time for a walk?

I noticed

a composer made a blonde violinist feel better that the solo singer is blonde.

Why before was everything about "what" you did and now it's about what your parents did and if your hair was ever white?

"Music"

Loyola UNO MTO Songs I Know





Girl I Remember, Dodi Nolan (with bangs)

If you took down what I earn

Why does that just happen to me?  Racism.  I won't accept that aspect.

Problem

So, Bella Thorne's mom is celebrating thinking I deserve nothing to make me look like a fool rather than just smile about her daughter?

I didn't do it, I just posted it on my blog, so I'm not bad.  It's not a big deal, but she's the 1 who thinks it.  Anyway, I bet it's also going around now with the pathetic people I won't date.

Me Playing

3/5

Up

I slept for 8 or 9 hours.  I start taking the bus now rather than disability door service.  Gotta sleep again..

Vocaroo

2/5?


Audio recording >>

New Pictures of Me

IMDb - The Soapbox

I thought you whites knew everything about being Asian.

IMDb member since May 2014

You act like it. So do blacks.

Now, you are jealous? You don't know anything about race?

And yes that's me pictured.

A REAL IMMORTAL GODDESS

Kids

I dunno, there's 3 boys so far who are really attractive who I might have a chance with, 1 is ***, 1 seems like a hermit, and the other I'm just worried about past "vows" not staying.

And I am poly******, so welcome Bella.

Weird

You think I have to have everything perfect or I will be upset or squeamish.

Well, it was kinda a big thing to think.  I am not asking for attention for my being given the equal opportunity, but I expect to make a couple friends.  Go worship someone who "took the right path" like Bella.  Maybe, we were all pretty kids, too, but she seemed more focused on being like meek or something.  I can't believe, though, how dramatic her transformation was from being a baby.  It's too bad they didn't try and keep her hair that light like her skin.  I dunno, though, some girls like being able to have dark hair and dye it like they were born with it to show off but still feel the drama of having "dark" hair.  What should we do?

Also, some people just look pretty but are just "full of" "air."  It was like the last minute touch, not a part of them.

So, explain

Ellen just gets mad easily to look dramatic, no reason to find out?

You all can't do

what ya'll cant do.  Go around and make everything about me being upset that you think is bad to make me upset and it won't be right.  Get cornered and be poked at!

i spy

with my eye
a fly

i'll try
and not cry

i'll reply
go up the sky

Weird

That's "literally" happening to Bella Thorne that other people just aren't jealous of?  And why would someone like me be a bad guy?  I never grew up in check like that.  Ya'll just jealous.  I've already gone on Facebook and am finding new things.  }:D  I know I can talk to someone and not feel constantly attacked.  I'm not the sole winner.  I always was a sharer.  Wanna real duel?  It won't be me.  What have I got?  I got things I like, and then there's such a thing as following me around to each thing so that I feel belittled and not bi and tri friended.

Let me bridge out after all that thoguht of all us and think of what's going on.  The other people did this to me to be in trouble.  I'm following the messages of others like I'm counting the cars on a train.  I've done that before, too.

Hm, what can we do for Bella Thorne?  She eats like crazy, fast food, and she exercises now each day.  Try things like smoothies.. soup!  Those will make you beautiful!  See, I just did it.  I always am into not being the only 1.

So, is this message thing supposed to feel like it includes a punishment?  No, it's just someone else who has to hold their own.

I don't need to bide my time.

I probably need to exercise again.

Also, you experimenters aren't in for the better good if you disapprove of me really talking to people who care about me in this situation, singers with heritage in Europe.

How would you feel..

if just 1 or 2 people wanted all your "gifts" from you?

IMDb - The Soapbox

The teens today will get poly********* legal, more than 2 people living together. That's what I want now. Marriage is a bind for children.

I think marriage is different than looking for a civil partnership. It is different from friendship and motherly love.

Me Singing

2/5


Audio recording software >>

Record music with Vocaroo >>

Audio and voice recording >>

Song

Song

Twitter

Off the road & back home again. None of the lights, stages, or fans are around. I have to be ok just being Lindsey :) pic.twitter.com/lw06I5GSyt
— Lindsey Stirling (@LindseyStirling) July 29, 2014

Another lose person in check.

You can't say that you watch people and be mean to me on purpose instead.  Like, someone else is more pampered, so pretend that's what it is when you hurt me, like I just don't need pampered so you try to knock the light outta my eyes for ^something I ^said^^.

How She'd Say It, in My Defense

"How can he put someone, that other girl, over me?"

It's not safe to hang out.  Why tell me someone is better?  We're all the same.  What's the point in saying I'm worse than other people, what's the point as in a literal question?  I mean, how can 1 person be better than another?  I'm not some weirdo, neither.  I don't say I'm better to hurt people.  Did my statement not make sense to anyone?  I hope what I've said is okay.  It's not worth important people's read, though..

If you easily think about this 1..

..I see someone has it in their nature to throw away good relationships, any at all, using the whims of others in my life.  You don't do this to others.  My feeling is you are racist.  You blame me for things I did as a toddler, even.  You think I "don't go in" for my parents.  My dad doesn't want me to be as good as him, all proper and stuff.  My mom isn't even a mushy person.  I don't know what you're looking for here, but it makes no sense and you're not getting away with it.

I don't know what to do if no one listens.  Ellen is a threat to anyone nice to me.  Can we just overlook this?  I overlook a lot..

About "going in" again, you know it wouldn't be stupid mushy shit, you'd hold your own.  My parents look like they want me to feel like I'm stupid and stimulated by their genes being different.

BIG QUESTION

Why do you have to put Bella and I in an order and knock me down just cuz you met her or believe I am not that nice?  Most people agree outwardly I am.  I don't want to overshadow people.  I just want to be the best person I can be.  That includes feeling good feelings and doing stuff.  Everyone should figure this out for themselves.

May I ask you to stop

making my lady feel like hurting me?

They are saying I have something and I gotta give it over.  No one cares about just 1 person's dreams.

When you say that..

..You can't just say some innocent person is not the most ***y.  If someone is going to extreme wrong means means they are that in the spoiled sense.

Oh wow..

..like she already knows what the world does for her is a joke.  They set her up like no one else in the world is as ***y as she is.

I'm fed up

with this

"you've got a queen but you are a joker"
— bella thorne (@bellathorne) July 29, 2014

I want to follow this girl for her successes, not run into things like this. I think I am mad at her and not to whom she gets to allude to. She probably doesn't like doing this. She keeps getting rowdy and misses the point of doing anything in this.

Check my story.

I updated it, if you read it..

Problem

Ellen does treat Bella like a brat or she made others do it.  She had the feeling, but she didn't act upon it.  Bella has an obsessive compulsive trait of thinking there can only be 1 perfect person in the world.

and

it does not matter to you 1 iota what I'm thinking, you're like a machine that infiltrates hatred into my body.  You all decided to do it.

So, what?

It's Ellen and no one else or everyone else but not Ellen though the later will not happen?

It doesn't matter "what" I did.  In all honestly, only some certain kind of person would sit there and be mad at what someone did and not what they think now.

Let me insert this argument, again. I was cursing about the noises in my room and had to curse at my dad on my blog cuz I have no escape but so I won't curse at Ellen, though I slipped and apologized.  I was writing a lot, and she put the noises there.

Ugh, will you stop, will you??

I think you've already made your point known to a vast majority of others.

All Right!

So, disciplining someone else is still a mean joke about me?  Not for all readers, but some will be interested in the truth.